Setting up Your Day in a Positive Way!
Note to Reader - This blog features strategies shared in Jessica’s upcoming book ‘Authentic’ - Strategies and Supports for Newly Diagnosed/ Self-Recognised Autistic Adults
Topic - Self-love, self-care, sensory-care, regulation, reducing anxiety, creating calm, routine
Rest and relaxation may sound like an easy enough strategy to adopt, but in today’s society we have increasingly busy lifestyles, and it is easy for work and family life to take over. Sustaining our energy levels and creating a lifestyle that supports regular rest breaks takes planning, and commitment. We can all plan a weekend retreat at a spa or have a lie-in on a Sunday morning (kiddie dependent) but self-care goes beyond the occasional. It is a daily effort that ensures you have regular rest, and daily opportunities to relax.
I can hear you shouting at your laptop screen ‘I don’t have time to rest!’…and for this reason, I assure you EVERYONE has time to do loving actions for themselves on a daily basis and here is how.
1) WAKE-UP 30 MINUTES EARLIER THAN USUAL
My first suggestion to promote more rest and relaxation is to set your alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual. Again, I can hear you shout ‘but I don’t get enough sleep as it is’…I know this sounds difficult to start with but if you plan to reset your wake-to-sleep rhythm then this is a fundamental element in doing so. Use the additional time in the morning to cement a wake-up routine.
This could include…
· Making yourself a hot drink and reading a newspaper.
· Have a morning bath.
· Incorporating a gentle stretch routine.
· Using positive affirmations.
· Waking up with muscle relaxation.
· Having breakfast before everyone else in the house wakes up.
How we approach our day can set our mood for the rest of the day, so it is really important to invest time in yourself during your wake-up hours.
JUGGLING MORNING DEMANDS WITH CHILDREN
I remember reading about these types of supports when my children were small and thinking ‘yeah right - how am I supposed to do this with children’. I know it isn’t easy, but the morning routine extends to them too. It may be that everyone in the house needs a calmer way to start the day and this is okay. Once you have thought about what loving actions you need, you can then turn your attention to the children or other people in your home. To make your morning as stress free as possible planning is key. If you need to wake an hour earlier so you have half an hour and then wake the children half an hour earlier, then this might be the solution you need to help the mornings run a little smoother.
SCHEDULING SELF-CARE
The following four steps are suggestions for ways that you can support your morning wake up routine in a positive way.
2) CONSIDER ONE SMALL ACT OF SELF-KINDNESS EACH DAY
Every day is a new opportunity to show yourself love and kindness. These acts of self-love do not need to be expensive, nor do they need to be grand gestures. The most important thing is to do these loving actions consciously and give yourself time to indulge in them. Acts of self-love could include;
· A walk in the park
· A hot bubble bath with beautiful scented candles.
· Preparing your favourite evening meal
Whatever way you choose to show yourself love each day ensure that it is consciously planned and when you are doing the act of kindness remind yourself ‘I am doing this because I love you’.
I know it sounds cheesy and many people will cringe initially at the thought of telling themselves that they love themselves, but I assure you the more you tell yourself that you are worthy of these loving acts, the more confidence you will feel in your life and the more open you will feel to connecting and receiving love from others.
Self-care suggestion - Make yourself a comfortable area either in your living room or bedroom - grab your weighted blanket or a snuggle blanket that you have available, shake and then spray your favourite wellness spray around you. Place your aromatherapy eye pillow in the microwave for 30 seconds and play a calming play list. Place your aromatherapy eye pillow over your eyes whilst you feel your blanket cocoon around you…. feel calm…feel relaxed and feel your tensions drift away.
It is these little moments that we hold onto, and it is these little moments that bring us so much joy and happiness to our days!
3) PAUSE AND CHECK IN
Check in can be as quick as two minutes and as long as half an hour, it is up to you to set aside how much time you would like for this exercise. This technique enables you to ‘check in’ on how your body is doing and how you are feeling. You may want to initially set alarm reminders to schedule 4 of these breaks during your day or alternatively you can use the technique as and when you feel the need to stop.
To start a ‘check in’ choose a safe and quiet location, away from too many distractions so you can rest and close your eyes. Start by taking several deep breathes in through your nose and out though your mouth whilst bringing your attention inwards to your internal body.
This check helps you to connect with your body, it enables you to have a better understanding of any emotions being processed as well as a way of helping us to check our energy levels. Take another three conscious deep breathes in through your nose…out through your mouth before you begin.
First, bring your attention to your feet…how are your feet feeling, wiggle your toes in your shoes and connect your feet to the ground…if your feet are aching take some time to rest them, if your feet feel okay move onto your legs.
How are your calves feeling and how are your thighs feeling….do you feel any tightness, aches or pains? Do they feel sluggish and need to move? Make a mental note of any actions you may need to take after this check to support your legs to feel their very best.
Now move your attention to your arms…run your internal scan from your shoulders down to your fingers, if you feel any pain throughout the scan take some time to slowly breathe through it, deep breathes in and then out…for as long as is needed.
When you are ready move your attention to your stomach. How is your stomach feeling today? Do you need water? Do you need food? connect with your stomach and breathe through any discomfort…do you have any feelings of unease held in your stomach? Do you have any worry that you need to let go of? Imagine you are flooding your stomach with love and support and make a promise to yourself that you will nurture yourself that today you will nourish your body with the nutrients it needs.
When you are ready move your attention to your head - how is your head feeling? Calm your thoughts and check your needs…what actions do you need to take after this check-in to ensure you are physically supported. Do you need to regulate with deep pressure? Do you need to take an early lunch break? Finish this check in with a promise to yourself that you will action the necessary requirements to help you stay balanced today.
3) PLAN CONNECTION
Finding time to connect can be tricky so it is important that we schedule some time to each of these areas during our week. Connection does not need to take a long time, nor does it need to be in person, but it does need to be thought out, honest, open and heart felt.
We can connect by…
1) Spending conscious time with the people you live with and enjoying their company
2) Writing a journal or diary and connecting with your own thoughts and feelings.
2) Calling or texting a family member who lives far away to tell them you are thinking of them.
3) Sending an email or a letter to a friend telling them how much they mean to you.
4) Surprise a loved one with an act of kindness.
Connections can be small, and connections can be big, but it is within us consciously reaching our hand out to other people and opening ourselves up to the moment that we can create calm within our day.
Through giving yourself a little more time, checking in with yourself and others and promoting self-care as something that happens throughout the day, rather than the occasional treat, the mornings will start to get a little easier and you will naturally start to respond to your own needs. Learn more about ND Perspective by following the link below.